To all the Vambies, Happy Mother’s Day. And to Corinna for requesting/begging for a story to go with Gilly’s gorgeous fiddle which can be found here. Thank you, Gilly.

Rated PG.

Kathryn walked slowly up the path towards her mother’s front door. It was late evening and light from the living room spilled out into the dark of the garden illuminating the riot of flowers under the window.

As she approached, she took a moment to look in the window at the happy gathering. It was Mother’s Day, but she was late. Not an unusual occurrence these days. She’d tried to get away early, but had been held up by yet another meeting with the Admiralty review board. She rolled her eyes. They seemed to be able to find all manner of minutiae that, for some reason or other, became desperately important at the most inopportune times. She’d been looking forward to seeing her family and friends but now that she was here, she wasn’t feeling quite so confident. They all seemed to be having a lovely time and just lately Kathryn seemed to be carrying a small black cloud with her wherever she went.

The music, the laughter of the adults and the squeals of happy children echoed out into the dark night and Kathryn frowned.

Her mother was laughing and clapping her hands while Phoebe’s five year old daughter twirled in the middle of the room. Tom and B’Elanna were sitting on one of the sofas with Miral cuddled into Tom’s chest and Phoebe’s husband, Michael, was holding one of their twins, dancing to the music that Kathryn could hear through the window. It was a happy scene of family love and friendship which only made Kathryn feel more isolated. She sighed.

Seven years. So much time lost, never to be regained. She wondered - if she hadn’t been whisked off into the depths of the Delta Quadrant could she also be sitting there with Mark and her children.

It was hard to know.

But this was her reality, and it couldn’t be denied. Here she was - single, overworked and if she was brutally honest with herself, terribly lonely.

It wasn’t something on which she liked to dwell. She wasn’t by nature an emotionally self indulgent person. Life had dealt her some vicious blows over the years and she’d learned to take them on the chin. Not necessarily with good grace, but she’d taught herself to accept the missteps and the foibles of fate. She did an internal head slap. What a load of crap. She was damned angry and bitter about what had happened. Years wasted, yearning for a man that she thought she couldn’t have only to find that when she was finally free to pursue her love, fate had dealt her one last brutal twist and she’d lost him within weeks of arriving home. If she had her time over again, there was no way she’d make the same mistakes again. She’d grab him and hold onto him as tight as she could. If only it was possible. She paused momentarily and thought of the old Admiral Janeway. She’d done just that. Gone back in time to retrieve a past mistake and put it to rights. The bile of bitterness rose again. If only she hadn’t mistimed her return. A few weeks earlier and everything would have been different. The Admiral had saved Tuvok, Seven and the twenty two other crew who would have perished in the alternate timeline, but she’d been too late to save Kathryn.

She could almost laugh at the irony of it. The woman had gone to all the trouble of going back twenty six years to reset the timeline, dying in the process and still Kathryn came out of it with the short straw. Destiny sure was a bitch.

It was only during the first few days of debriefings that she’d found out just what sort of a fool she’d been. The Admiralty and its review board had been genuinely surprised to find that Kathryn hadn’t pursued a relationship with the Maquis captain during her time in the Delta Quadrant. They had assumed that she and Chakotay were a couple.

According to the panel of Admirals, they had thought, after reading the many logs and reports, that she and her first officer had begun a relationship during their stay on New Earth that had continued after they’d been rescued. As far as they were concerned, this was perfectly acceptable. In Voyager’s situation, they considered it important that the ship was run by ‘a content, well rounded and emotionally secure commanding officer’ and that her happiness was far more important than a few vague protocols and regulations that were intended for short duration missions.'

She’d wanted to scream at them. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

They’d seemed to think that it was just common sense in her situation that attitudes and regulations should have been relaxed. The journey could have potentially taken a lifetime and no one at Starfleet headquarters expected her to be alone for all that time.

The loss of so many line officers during the Dominion war had prompted a rethink on the protocols and procedures set down for long term missions. Married couples were actively being encouraged to crew these vessels. It made a good deal of sense, but the point, as far as Kathryn was concerned, was moot. She’d lost her chance of happiness and now looked forward to a long and lonely life. It rankled and she bit back bitter tears as she watched the revelry of the happy couples in her mother’s lounge room.

She was so absorbed in her misery that she didn’t hear the sound of footsteps behind her.

A hand landed on her shoulder and instinct took over. She turned and punched her assailant, right in the nose.

“Ahhhh! Shit! Kathryn!?”

“Wha…? Chakotay!? My God. What the hell are you doing here?” She stared at him. His familiar face illuminated by the light from the window. He was holding his nose and his eyes were watering.

He pulled his hand away and made a few strange faces, touching his nose tentatively to make sure it was still in one piece.

Kathryn peered at him, trying to see if there was blood. “God, I’m sorry. But you shouldn’t go sneaking up on a person like that. Are you all right? We’d better get inside and get some ice on that. It’s not broken is it? I heard a crunch.”

He was manipulating the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. “No, its okay. Please, don’t go in yet. At least wait a second until my eyes stop watering.” He blinked a few times and wiped his cheeks. “That’s a novel way to greet an old friend. Not what I’m used to… ,” After checking his nose again, he looked at her candidly. “…but, perhaps not undeserved. How are you Kathryn?”

She didn’t want to be drawn into any awkward discussions just at the moment, so she lied. “I’m fine. And you… not counting the dent in the middle of your face?”

He grinned. “Pretty good.” Looking past her into the living room, he took in the picture of domestic and familial bliss. He could understand her reticence about joining in. He felt a bit the same. “A peeping Admiral… that’s a new concept. Are you planning on joining them?”

Kathryn rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. “Yes. Are you?”

He nodded and took her bag from her hand, and slung it over his shoulder. He then picked up his own carry all.

Kathryn frowned. “You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing here?”

“Gretchen invited me. She didn’t tell you?”

Kathryn shook her head.

He smiled at the sight of Gretchen dancing with her grand daughter and shrugged. “She wanted me to be here for the first Mother’s Day since our arrival home. She thought I’d be missing my family, and to be honest, she wasn’t too far off the mark.” He looked back at Kathryn. “It was very kind of her to ask me.” Hoisting the bags higher on his shoulder he spoke quietly. “I wanted to see you too. I’ve missed you.”

Kathryn blinked a few times - the sting of tears taking her by surprise. She should have realised her mother would have thought of Chakotay and the fact that he didn’t have any family here. The pain of the loss of his mother would be acute on a day like today. She felt bad about her earlier self indulgence and for not thinking of others. “I’m sorry, Chakotay. I should have thought.” She swallowed hard past the lump in her throat and whispered. “I’ve missed you too.”

Chakotay smiled. “That’s good to know, Kathryn.” He took a step towards the door. “Shall we go and join the fray?”

Kathryn nodded. “We’d better. I’m horribly late as it is. I’ll probably be in trouble.”

Chakotay grinned at the thought of Kathryn being chastised by her mother, although knowing Gretchen, he wouldn’t be surprised. She was one formidable lady.

As he stepped up onto the veranda, she grabbed his arm. “Just a moment. I’d better go in there armed with my present. It might help soften the blow.” Without dislodging the bag on his shoulder, she opened it and pulled out a wrapped parcel and held it up. “Andorian perfume. I hope she likes it.”

“Hold this for a moment, will you?” He handed her back her bag and opened his and pulled out a couple of parcels. “One for Gretchen, one for B’Elanna and one for Phoebe.” He shrugged. “It is Mother’s Day after all.”

Kathryn gave him a wan smile as he took her bag back, and then held his arm out for her. She slid her hand through the crook of his elbow and they walked to the door together. There was a knot in her gut that had tightened when he reeled off all those names. Why she was being so pitiful tonight, she didn’t know, but taking a deep breath, she swallowed her sadness and plastered a happy smile on her face as she rang the door chime.

They could hear the sound of running feet and the door was pulled open by her niece. She gave them the once over and bellowed to the crowd in the other room. “It’s Aunty Kathryn and she’s got a man.”

Kathryn cringed and could feel Chakotay tense beside her. She didn’t dare look at him. Thankfully Gretchen reached the doorway and smiled. “Hello there, you two. About time.” She ushered them into the house and gave Kathryn a kiss and a hug, then did the same to Chakotay. “Leave your bags there and come in and join the party.”

Just before Kathryn entered the room, she heard Phoebe ask. “Kathryn’s got a man?”

They walked through the door and B’Elanna snorted. “That’s not a man, that’s Chakotay.”

Kathryn’s mouth twisted into a smile as Chakotay rolled his eyes at his friend. “Thanks so much, B’El. I’ll put this back in my bag shall I?” He held up her present and turned back towards the door.

“Hey, you come back here with that.” She jumped up from the sofa and gave him a hug. She then turned towards Kathryn and gave her a hug and a kiss. “Hello, Kathryn. Tom’s father called and said that you’d been held up. It’s Sunday for Kahless sake. Don’t they ever take a break?”

Kathryn grimaced and shook her head. “Apparently not.”

Tom walked over and gave Kathryn a kiss on the cheek and plonked Miral into her arms. “Dad was in the doghouse as well. We just came from lunch at my mother’s place. He only made it for the dessert.”

Kathryn was only half listening, her attention was captivated by the small wriggling bundle in her arms. Miral was grinning up at her and she grinned in return. “Look how you’ve grown, young lady and you’ve got teeth.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Yes, she’s become the drool monster. Here.” He placed a towel over Kathryn’s shoulder. “I don’t know how such a small thing can produce so much dribble. It’s amazing.”

Kathryn laughed. “Come here sweetheart. They’re picking on you. Its hard work teething, and they just don’t understand.” Miral squealed and slapped at Kathryn’s face as she shifted the five month old baby onto her hip as if it was something she did everyday. In almost the same movement she handed her mother her present. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.”

She could feel Chakotay’s eyes on her as she stood swaying gently with the baby on her hip.

“Aunty Kathryn, did you bring me a present?” Kathryn looked down at her niece and knitted her eyebrows.

Phoebe scolded from the other side of the room. “Amy Kathryn Wallace, where are your manners?”

The little girl turned to her mother and with her hands on her hips, scowled and spoke crossly. “I’m just reminding Aunty Kathryn that she wasn’t here for my birthday.” She looked back up at her Aunt. “Please, Auntie Kathryn, did you bring me a present?”

Kathryn’s mouth twitched. “I think there might be a little something in my bag…. How about you go and have a hunt through and see what you can find.”

Amy jumped up and down and ran out of the room to find Kathryn’s bag and her present.

“I’m sorry about that, Katie.” Her brother-in-law apologised.

Kathryn grinned. “If you can’t be a little grabby when you’re five, life’s not worth living. I did miss her birthday... and that’s a big deal. She’s well within her rights to demand her present.”

Phoebe didn’t look so sure. “She’d better grow out of it. But thank you.”

Chakotay distributed his presents and Gretchen offered them some coffee and tea. Miral was now lying on Kathryn’s chest with her thumb in her mouth, quietly watching the goings-on in the room as her eyes started to droop. B’Elanna shook her head. “How do you do that, Kathryn? She’s been a nightmare all afternoon and the minute she’s in your arms, she behaves like an angel.”

Kathryn smiled down at the angelic little face. “I think you’re making that up. I can’t imagine her being a nightmare.”

Tom grinned. “Maybe she knows its brig time if she misbehaves.”

“No. She knows she’s secure and loved.” Chakotay mumbled as he watched Kathryn with the baby in her arms. His heart ached.

Kathryn met his eyes and her breath caught. She hadn’t seen that look in years. Red tinged his cheeks and he gave her a tentative smile and moved over to the fireplace to diffuse some of the tension that had just filled the room. There were looks darting between all those present and for the first time in months Kathryn felt hope surge within her. She watched his back as he looked at the photos on the mantelpiece. There was a tension in his shoulders and an eerie quiet in the room.

Chakotay picked up a framed photo that was hidden behind most of the others and turned. “Who’s this?”

Gretchen moved over to his side, looked at the photo and smiled. “That’s me and Kathryn.”

He looked over at Kathryn and smiled. The tension in the room eased a little and Tom stood up and looked at the picture, then grinned over at his ex Captain.

She gave him a withering look. “Not a word, Tom. Your life is still mine.” He opened his mouth and then thought better of it.

Kathryn knew which photo they were looking at. It had always been one of her favourites. It was picture of her mother laying on a bed, with Kathryn, a baby of about four months old, laying naked beside her mother. Her father had taken the holo-image and the look on her Gretchen’s face was so filled with love that it always brought a tear to Kathryn’s eye. When she was a teenager and angry with her mother, she’d often look at that photo to remind herself how much her mother loved her and all would be forgiven.

Chakotay looked at it again and then put it back where he’d found it and lifted his gaze to Kathryn’s. She smiled and shrugged slightly. His face softened into a gentle grin.

Kathryn looked uncannily like her mother when Gretchen was younger and it reignited the burn of one of his long held fantasies. His mind started to drift, only to be brought back to reality with the strident voice of Amy when she walked back into the room. She was frowning and holding in her small hand a fob watch on a silver chain.

“What is this supposed to do Auntie Kathryn? It doesn’t make any noise. Are you supposed to swing it around?”

Kathryn frowned. “Where did you get that from Amy?”

“In your bag in the hall. Like you said.”

“I think that’s mine, Amy.” Chakotay stepped forward and smiled gently.

Amy pouted and held onto her treasure. “It was wrapped up in a present. It can’t be yours. You don’t give presents to yourself.”

Chakotay knelt down in front of the little girl and held out his hand. “No, it wasn’t for me. It was for your Auntie Kathryn.” His eyes flicked up to Kathryn’s briefly. “I think you were looking in the wrong bag.”

Amy looked at the silver watch on the chain and placed it in Chakotay’s hand. “It wasn’t a very good present for me, but Auntie Kathryn might like it.” She smiled before she turned and ran back to the hallway to look in the other bag.

Chakotay looked up at Kathryn again and slowly got to his feet. “Can I speak with you, Kathryn? In private. It won’t take long.”

B’Elanna rushed forward and took the baby from Kathryn’s arms and shooed them both out the door. Everyone was grinning happily.

Kathryn was in a bit of a daze. There was something significant about that watch. She just knew it, but she didn’t know why she knew it.

They walked out the front door and down the front steps. Standing on the front lawn in the light of the living room window, they waited in silence for a minute or two.

All those left in the living room rushed to the window to watch, but Gretchen called them away. “For goodness sake, leave the poor things alone.”

Reluctantly they all moved back to their seats but kept craning their necks to see what was happening outside.

Tom huffed. “We’ve waited years for this. It had better go off without a hitch.”

Gretchen smiled knowingly. “Oh, I think they’ll be just fine. Come on now, its dinner time. Let’s get the children organised.” The group moved into the dining room, but their minds were on their two commanding officers who were outside, hopefully making right something that had been theirs for the taking for all these years.

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and waited for him to talk. He turned to her and lifting her hand, he placed the watch in her palm. “I found this when we were packing up our quarters. I’d forgotten about it. I’d replicated it for your birthday three years ago but I never got a chance to give it to you. We’d been overrun by Hirogen at the time and we didn’t celebrate your birthday that year.”

Kathryn nodded then looked down and studied the watch. It was quite plain, but beautiful in its utilitarian simplicity. She ran her fingers over the face of the watch and turned it over. Engraved on the back of the watch were the words. ‘To K love C.’ Kathryn swallowed.

“I only had it engraved yesterday.”

Her eyes flicked up to his.

“But the sentiment was there all those years ago. It has never changed.”

“Oh.” Kathryn rubbed her thumb over the words. Her heart was pounding in her chest but she had questions. “What about Seven, Chakotay? How does she fit into all of this?”

He blinked slowly and shook his head. “She doesn’t.” His brow furrowed. “I’m so sorry, Kathryn. It’s over. Not that it ever really started. My only excuse is that I’d grown weary and lonely and I thought there was something there, but it didn’t take me long to realise that what attracted me to her were just facets of her personality that were a reflection of you. Seven is with her Aunt and has been since we got back. We called off our relationship just after we arrived. I didn’t say anything to anyone because I was ashamed and to be honest, not all that many people knew. We’d kept it very quiet. I realised that you knew when you became so distant with both of us after we got home.” He turned to her fully. “Seven was devastated when she realised what she’d done and that you were upset with her. She pleaded with me to make it right. It’s taken me this long because I had to make sure you were ready to forgive me.”

She gripped the watch tightly in her hand. “It’s not entirely your fault, Chakotay.” She huffed a bitter laugh. “I know you tried and I pushed you away for years. I’m sorry.” She gave him a sad smile. “Did you know that the Admiralty and Starfleet wondered why I wasn’t in a relationship with you? They’d read our logs and knew there was something between us and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t used my common sense, knowing that it might take a lifetime to get home, and not formalised our relationship.”

He grunted a laugh. “Really?” With a disbelieving shake of his head, he continued. “I bet you wanted to hit someone after you heard that.”

Kathryn smiled. “You know me too well. Yes, I was livid. All those years wasted.”

He took her hand. “They weren’t wasted, Kathryn. No time that we spent together was ever wasted. I’ve always loved you and I always will.” He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “Do you think you could see your way to consider spending the rest of your life with me?”

Kathryn smiled and looked into those beloved brown eyes. “I love you too, and I can’t think of anything that I want more.” She raised her hand and touched his cheek. Her fingers lingered for a few heartbeats and then she wove them into the back of his hair and pulled him close.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss. The years of sorrow fell away and the cosmos righted itself.

The kiss deepened and they wrapped their arms around one another. They pulled apart at the sound of a delighted squeal. Amy yelled from the living room window. “They’re kissing, they’re kissing. Mommy, can I be the bridesmaid?”

Kathryn grinned at Chakotay. “You do realise what you’re getting yourself into, don’t you? The Janeway’s are a package deal.”

Chakotay smiled broadly. “I’m rather fond of these Janeway women. All of them.”

Hand in hand they made their way inside to break the not so surprising news to the rest of the family.

************************************************

Chakotay stood in the doorway to their bedroom, staring in awed silence. The scene before him took his breath away and his heart swelled in his chest. It was a moment he’d fantasised about for years and that twelve months ago he would never have imagined experiencing in his wildest dreams. But today it was a reality and one that made his heart sing and his soul soar. He backed away slowly and placed the tray he was carrying on the table in the hallway and grabbed the holocamera from the hall cupboard.

He crept back to the doorway, not wanting to disturb his two loves.

Smiling Kathryn looked up at him, then back at their three month old daughter. The look on her face was one of such peace and love, that he thought he might burst from the joy of it. She was a far cry from the sad and lonely woman he’d found outside her mother’s house last year on Mother’s Day. What a difference a year can make. He lifted the camera and as quietly as he could, he captured the precious moment for all time.

Kathryn looked up again and, with a smile, held out her hand. “Are you going to join us?”

Chakotay shook his head and smiled. “No. I just want to watch for a while. This is my dream come true and I just want to savour it.”

Kathryn grinned broadly and nodded. She knew exactly how he felt.

Several hours later, their house was full of family and friends. Mother’s Day gifts had been exchanged and they were all sitting around chatting. Miral was toddling about and Phoebe’s twins were asleep in their carriers. Gretchen looked out the window to see Amy seated on the grass with Kathryn’s puppy jumping all over the giggling girl. She wandered over to the mantle and picked up a framed photograph and smiled. She raised her eyes and met Chakotay’s across the room. With a nod she acknowledged and understood the significance of the photograph and her heart rejoiced.

Kathryn saw the look that passed between her mother and her husband and moved over and placed her daughter in her mother’s arms. The circle was complete.